Sunday, April 24, 2011
Hand clenched tight
No, I didn't do a good job of 'opening my hand and taking what the Lord gives'....(aholyexperience.com)
It clenched, it fist-ed, it tried to open a little....
Later my hands stretched across the keys and my fingers opened as I played "The Lord's Prayer" in the silence of my home...silence broken by heart-rending sobs....and verbal words as I said, "I don't do very well at 'forgiving others'..."
The wounds were torn open...
the scars not truly healed...
the layers of mistrust...
once again being pealed back...
open sores with pain so deep I think they will never heal
Just as I think they might be healing, the talons come
...ripping...tearing....causing hysteria to rush overflowing
My wounds, deep, cutting, hurtful.....
Yet on this day, this weekend of celebration for what our Savior did for us....
His wounds....His feelings of betrayal....
does He feel a tiny bit of how I feel?
Am I tasting a tiny bit of how He felt....for me?
It clenched, it fist-ed, it tried to open a little....
Later my hands stretched across the keys and my fingers opened as I played "The Lord's Prayer" in the silence of my home...silence broken by heart-rending sobs....and verbal words as I said, "I don't do very well at 'forgiving others'..."
The wounds were torn open...
the scars not truly healed...
the layers of mistrust...
once again being pealed back...
open sores with pain so deep I think they will never heal
Just as I think they might be healing, the talons come
...ripping...tearing....causing hysteria to rush overflowing
My wounds, deep, cutting, hurtful.....
Yet on this day, this weekend of celebration for what our Savior did for us....
His wounds....His feelings of betrayal....
does He feel a tiny bit of how I feel?
Am I tasting a tiny bit of how He felt....for me?
Sunday, April 10, 2011
family and cats....
Smeigle likes to lie in front of the heater vent but this is the first time I've seen him in front of the refrige! He is the funniest cat....and the biggest in our household.
Proof that he was resting on my hands while I typed....I did most of the entire post with him there. I know. They are spoiled!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
and I thought...
I'm sitting here thinking, with a cat on my lap and his head almost on the keyboard....
I'd like to share things I've been processing, but don't know if I can get it out.
I'll try :) The mistakes are Smeigle's fault....the cat...in case you didn't know his name.
I've been reading "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. www.aholyexperience.com It makes you think. One of the challenges for her was to record 1,000 blessings...gifts...in the day to day of life. Things that we take for granted or just don't see because our minds are focused elsewhere. I find some days difficult to remember to look and others easier. I've started my own list....you ought to start one, too.
The challenge doesn't stop in naming your blessings. It's to find joy in them.
She writes about her fascinating journey. I'm just trying to tell you in my words what I am reaping from this.
I'm finding from her quest that the essence of joy is giving thanks. As she explains.... (in my words)
Before the crucifixion....Jesus took the bread, raised His eyes upward and gave thanks.
Before many of His miracles, He looked upward and gave thanks.
He gave thanks then the miracle happened. He blessed the loaves and fishes, gave thanks and then the miracle happened. Plenty of food was available for everyone.
When He knew what lay before Him, the untold suffering of sins for mankind, He took the bread, raised His eyes upward and gave thanks.
Paul and I have discussed this thought. What a picture. On the eve of His road to the cross, He broke the bread, gave thanks, and then said, "take and eat in remembrance of me." He gave thanks when He knew death was coming in just a few short hours. He gave thanks when He knew that within moments a miracle would occur....
The giving of thanks brings joy.
God's been trying to teach me this for a long time. Sometimes I remember. Too often I forget. One scripture He has used is Philippians 4:6-7.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Another is in 2 Chronicles 20. A battle is coming. The king, Jehoshaphat, didn't know what to do. He turns to God to ask for His help. God told him, "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. ...You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions, stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you!"
Wow! But you know what happens next? He takes the singers of the people and appoints them to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: "Give thanks to the Lord, for his love endures forever."
I don't think I would like to be a musician at this time.
I would be trembling....hiding...worrying...scared.
Same thoughts I had today as problems bugged my mind. I tried HARD to remember to give thanks.
All the what if's? School budget cut backs, next year's taxes (good grief, already worrying about them. I need to trust!), how this is going to work and the list goes on.
Finally, I thought to myself, "I'm giving thanks because I know that God is good. And that the gift of Salvation is enough...enough to give thanks for."
I still struggled with pushing negative thoughts out of my head, but I felt it....joy...inside....the giving of thanks.
Obviously, the singers had more courage than I did...or they had someone to hold their hand and encourage them to sing. Most importantly, they probably just BELIEVED God when He said, "Do not be afraid!"
They went out and sang....and as they sang and praised, the Lord sent ambushes against the armies and they were defeated!
They didn't have to fight. They won!
How?
By giving thanks!
I see her......so carefree, joyful....a little first grader skipping gaily down the hallway
...and in myself I took a moment to borrow her joy for myself.
It was the little gifts...seeing life through the eyes of a child.
I hugged the joy close and smiled.
I'd like to share things I've been processing, but don't know if I can get it out.
I'll try :) The mistakes are Smeigle's fault....the cat...in case you didn't know his name.
I've been reading "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. www.aholyexperience.com It makes you think. One of the challenges for her was to record 1,000 blessings...gifts...in the day to day of life. Things that we take for granted or just don't see because our minds are focused elsewhere. I find some days difficult to remember to look and others easier. I've started my own list....you ought to start one, too.
The challenge doesn't stop in naming your blessings. It's to find joy in them.
She writes about her fascinating journey. I'm just trying to tell you in my words what I am reaping from this.
I'm finding from her quest that the essence of joy is giving thanks. As she explains.... (in my words)
Before the crucifixion....Jesus took the bread, raised His eyes upward and gave thanks.
Before many of His miracles, He looked upward and gave thanks.
He gave thanks then the miracle happened. He blessed the loaves and fishes, gave thanks and then the miracle happened. Plenty of food was available for everyone.
When He knew what lay before Him, the untold suffering of sins for mankind, He took the bread, raised His eyes upward and gave thanks.
Paul and I have discussed this thought. What a picture. On the eve of His road to the cross, He broke the bread, gave thanks, and then said, "take and eat in remembrance of me." He gave thanks when He knew death was coming in just a few short hours. He gave thanks when He knew that within moments a miracle would occur....
The giving of thanks brings joy.
God's been trying to teach me this for a long time. Sometimes I remember. Too often I forget. One scripture He has used is Philippians 4:6-7.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Another is in 2 Chronicles 20. A battle is coming. The king, Jehoshaphat, didn't know what to do. He turns to God to ask for His help. God told him, "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. ...You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions, stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you!"
Wow! But you know what happens next? He takes the singers of the people and appoints them to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: "Give thanks to the Lord, for his love endures forever."
I don't think I would like to be a musician at this time.
I would be trembling....hiding...worrying...scared.
Same thoughts I had today as problems bugged my mind. I tried HARD to remember to give thanks.
All the what if's? School budget cut backs, next year's taxes (good grief, already worrying about them. I need to trust!), how this is going to work and the list goes on.
Finally, I thought to myself, "I'm giving thanks because I know that God is good. And that the gift of Salvation is enough...enough to give thanks for."
I still struggled with pushing negative thoughts out of my head, but I felt it....joy...inside....the giving of thanks.
Obviously, the singers had more courage than I did...or they had someone to hold their hand and encourage them to sing. Most importantly, they probably just BELIEVED God when He said, "Do not be afraid!"
They went out and sang....and as they sang and praised, the Lord sent ambushes against the armies and they were defeated!
They didn't have to fight. They won!
How?
By giving thanks!
I see her......so carefree, joyful....a little first grader skipping gaily down the hallway
...and in myself I took a moment to borrow her joy for myself.
It was the little gifts...seeing life through the eyes of a child.
I hugged the joy close and smiled.
Lessons from the eagles
Today, I saw for the first time, the eagle feed the babies.
I was in awe of the interaction between the eagle and the eaglets. The eaglets were so trusting, totally depending on the eagle to provide for its food.
Gently, the eagle held the meat so the eaglet could take only what it needed...only what it could swallow.
I thought, "why doesn't the eagle just give it all to them?"
Not a brilliant thought but that's what went through my mind.
On the heels of thought, I realized that they couldn't handle ALL the meat at once. They wouldn't be able to get much nourishment from it because it would fall to the side. They weren't strong enough to eat without the parent holding the food for them.
I loved the expressions on the faces. Animals are remarkable in their ability to express.
The eagle was tender, protective and providing. The eaglets were trusting, open, receiving.
And I remember that God says that He cares for sparrows...not just the majestic birds like the eagle, but the lowly bird...a sparrow. He tells us that He takes care of the sparrows, how much more will He take care of us?
And the promise.....
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles
I was in awe of the interaction between the eagle and the eaglets. The eaglets were so trusting, totally depending on the eagle to provide for its food.
Gently, the eagle held the meat so the eaglet could take only what it needed...only what it could swallow.
I thought, "why doesn't the eagle just give it all to them?"
Not a brilliant thought but that's what went through my mind.
On the heels of thought, I realized that they couldn't handle ALL the meat at once. They wouldn't be able to get much nourishment from it because it would fall to the side. They weren't strong enough to eat without the parent holding the food for them.
I loved the expressions on the faces. Animals are remarkable in their ability to express.
The eagle was tender, protective and providing. The eaglets were trusting, open, receiving.
And I remember that God says that He cares for sparrows...not just the majestic birds like the eagle, but the lowly bird...a sparrow. He tells us that He takes care of the sparrows, how much more will He take care of us?
Matthew 6:25-34 (New International Version, ©2011)
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.And the promise.....
Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version, ©2011)
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
for your enjoyment...
If you like to read fascinating writing....look at great photography....and learn, check out this website. I think you'll enjoy it.www.aholyexperience.com
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